Beyond Vivid

The past couple of weeks my dream life has been in some rich mother lode. I can't really recall a period in my life where my dreams have been so filled with detail and so connected to me. Its been exciting, yet pretty unnerving also.

I am not a great sleeper. My sleep patterns have been forever warped by being a dad for 12 years. I figure its just part of the game. Having two kids with asthma has not been conducive to ever really feeling safe enough to deeply drift in the "zone" of total submersion. I dunno, I am who I am:)

Two dreams have just woke me out of sleep like a bucket of cold water. The first was a dream about my friend Ron. We were close friends in high school up through our late twenties till he and his wife relocated. I've spoken to him a couple of times since he has relocated but nothing consistent.

He looks just like we did around senior year. He is by his car and the detail is just mind boggling. The color of his car, his wetsuit thrown in the back. The empty soda can in the front that he drank on the way to the beach. While I am there I'm petting his dog, Glen. The feel of Glen's fur, etc. you get my point.

He's telling me his is all right where he is and that he is okay. He knows that the surf days are passed but he had to tel me he is alright. I'm just there with him. We aren't talking at all but we are communicating. Trippy.......

The second startler of a dream doesn't involve a person it involves a feeling or an internal point of reference. But first some background. My freshman year of college I fell head over heels for a young woman named Cindy. We developed a relationship. When I think back to her I always remember how she would meet me outside of the library and put her hand and head on my chest and let out a long sigh while she said Hi. It was a classic college romance that served to bridge to other parts of my life that would occur later.

Cindy just flat out disappeared. She withdrew from school and didn't live in her apartment and her friends came to me and said,"Do you know where she is?" She contacted her roommate about 10 days later and said that she went back to her Mom's house in Palos Verdes till next semester.

I slipped into a funk. It really scared the crap out of me. I felt like someone had put dark sheets over all the furniture in my soul. I didn't cry, I didn't get frenetic, I just was so there. I remember the feeling of taking care of business in terms of obligations but always having a concurrent dialogue within that was wondering if this was the point where my heart fell to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces.

It changed me. I became guarded. I just didn't know about things anymore. To be honest with you, I don't think the final remaining dark furniture covers were completely put away till I met and fell in love with my wife. She was/is very illuminating.

So the second dream was about that feeling. The big empty and wondering if the next sound you hear is the shatter of a broken heart. The interpretation motifs are endless on this one. We are worried about son #2 who takes a med for asthma that has been linked to depression. We ask him what is wrong and he says nothing, but I know the walk, the methodical blink and all that goes with it.

So that is my vivid duo so to speak. It's interesting that two people from long ago decide to resurface. Maybe its not about them but the feelings that I have invested them. I dunno, gives me something to think about while I'm driving home from school with oven mitts on. Stay cool guys:)

Dreams Under Construction

Lately I have been talking and thinking about dreams. They have the ability to mirror everything going on in the past, present and future. There are resources out there that will help you delve into what they mean. Or at least, perhaps, point in some direction.

People have told me that they have dreamed about me. Not my pixelated other self but me. One dream about me was fascinating and required some outside perspective by a woman with bruja roots. Let me explain, a woman I work with is Hispanic. She was the one who had the dream about me. Not that kind of dream silly! She has relatives still in Old Mexico who are tied to the essence of the place. Not on your toursit paths I would imagine. Focus big Focus!!

She is at a restaraunt with three of her friends. They are enjoying big mugs of traditional Mexican Hot Chocolate. You know with the cream and the cinnamon sprinkled liberally on the cream and the saucer itself? So they are at this restaraunt on a patio that is surrounded by large trees full of green leaves. The leaves are swaying in the breeze ever so gently.

I walk by. She knows who I am but its a tip of the toungue type of sceanrio. I don't look sad but am just strolling through the locale. As I continue to walk, I turn my head slightly to look at the people enjoying their mugs of hot chocolate. At this point, according to the recepient of the aforementioned dream I am encased in a box? of silver rain. I do not look alarmed and continue to walk on my way.....

I'm not sure if I want to hear about this one or not! Of course I jest, I've got to know. Any thoughts?

If I could have one dream come true it would be this: to be with my family at a summer house where our children were born. To be holding them all on a star filled night when the heaven seems to be a blanket of stars I could wrap us all in. I could enjoy their warmth and they in turn could enjoy mine. I would have my nose near my wifes beautiful hair and smell its soft, wonderful fragrance. She and I would hold each other tightly with our fab foursome so close to us that they are part of us. We would all smile at one another knowing that we had all truly come home....

I hope your dreams are of love and peace. I will dream of you in those terms...