Last night was a night that as a parent I dread. My youngest was in the grips of asthma hell and I was down a partner. When stuff like this happens, and it does happen in the world of parenting, you become accutely aware of how much of a partnership parenting truly is. The event itself is bad enough but then you have to make that phone call that you know is going to kick up your partners emotions becuase they are away from their baby. Ok, he's 4 almost 5, but the bond between my wife and her kids is a force of love I have not witnessed prior to marraige and parenthood.
The feeling of being helpless in any scenario just sucks. No other words suffice. You look down on your child and want to make them better with a blink of an eye. It doesn't happen that way unfortunately. I rocked him, massaged his back, spoke in soothing tones. I tried everything in my arsenal to no avail.
I left the ER in frustration at being told that it would be a 3 hour wait. They didn't even triage him to check his O2 level. We are doing many haiku in my English class and I wrote this down on a scrap of paper. It was to focus my brain on something else rather than increasing anxiety.
Gasping for air now
Little chest struggles for air
How Spring contains pain
The ER was pure horror show. Our healthcare system in our country is a shambles when it serves as the only venue of healthcare for so many women and their children. Yeah, it was packed. But thats another blog topic. What an environment. I also wrote this Senryu about the ER. I'm sure it is applicable to ER's found everywhere....
Room of no coverage
there is no emergency
just hurt, pain and hope
Well I have an appointment @ 4:00 to get my precious one to. How many people don't have that option, don't have the money for medication and will have to endure all the feelings that I felt on a nightly basis for a indefinate amount of time? I can see light at the end of the tunnel, other parents operate in the pitch black of hopelessness. As I snuggle my soon to be healthy boy and kiss his forehead you're damn right they will be in my prayers...
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3 comments:
Oh, BigD bless your heart. And your little one's. And your beloved. My heart goes out to you in this trying time of Asthma and single parenthood. Rest knowing you are a great daddy and have an amazing partner. You children are blessed indeed.
Sometime I will have to get you to teach me the ways of the Senryu. That is a new form form me.
What a terrible situation. It was a parents nightmare.
Our emergency rooms are packed here in Los Angeles. People go to emergency for non emergency issues. They have no choice because they have no insurance and know they can't be turned away.
It sickening that many work two jobs at 30 hours a week each. Companies like those 30 hour weeks because they don't have to pay health insurance.
Hmmmm, the cost of having people in emergency rooms and knowing the bills will never be paid, versus a healthcare system that actually works.
Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out in my opinion. I'll get off my soapbox now.
I'm home. It is good to be home. I'm so thankful you are supportive of me and my career - and I'm thankful you are the dad you are. Our little guy was in good hands. We have said so many times before that if we had the O2 meter at home, and the oxygen if necessary, we could do everything they would do at the ER. Something so desperately needs to change in the American healthcare system. You shouldn't have to learn from the pediatrician the next day that the ER is nicknamed something with "death" in the title because their track record is too hideous. :(
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