Okay so its no secret that I teach. First weeks are always times of adjustment for everyone involved. Transition from summer into yet another school year. It' also a time to get used to a new round of students and touch base with ones from previous semester/years.
I'll generate a schedule for you. We have 4 90 minute classes daily. Your schedule is
1. Math
2. Biology
3. World History
4. English
Math - You just ate a hot dog and a cheeseburger at your local dinner and washed it down with two martinis. You decide to run home to burn off the calories you just consumed. It takes you about a half-hour to run there from the diner. How many times would you have to run back and forthfrom the diner to your house to burn off the calories?
There are 150 calories in the hot dog. 563 in the cheeseburger, and 548 in the two martinis. So the total caloric value of your yummy little snack would be 1,261 calories. A 30 minute run, the amount of time it takes to get back from the diner to your house, burns off about 275 calories. So you'd have to run back and forth about 4.5 times. (At which point you would probably hurl, which would screw up all the calculations.)
Biology- a musical condom designed to play louder and faster as lovers reach a climax is scheduled to go on sale in Ukraine. Grigory Chauvosky from Zaporozhye said his condoms come fitted with a special sensor. It transmits a signal to a miniature speaker in the base of the condom which plays a melody during sex. he told local media,"As the sex becomes more passionate, it registers the increased speed of the movements and plays the melody faster and louder."
World History- Mao Zedong never brushed his teeth, preferred instead to rinse his mouth daily with green tea. Sound skanky? Perhaps. But the "Great Helmsman" maintained a harem of Red Guard hotties to keep him company well into his dotage.
English- "Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night". Please respond to this journal topic as if you forgot and did just that......
Have a good year:)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
I knew you were a great teacher. It's nice to see you teach lessons that they'll actually be able to use in the world.
Ok I am VERY confused. Do these activities have any basis in the state standards? LOL Please Please Please tell me you did not road test these this week. (/me worries about the consequences and whether or not you still have a job on Monday...) Whew!! Good thing I came home! :D
Where's lunch?
I need lunch.
LMAO - I'll have to try that math lesson when I begin. I think it is now classified as "contextual learning". Good work and thanks for the laugh.
Post a Comment